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Ladies and Gentlemen, Garth Broo-- er, Chirs Gaines?  -- Primis                    9-29-99,  1:26PM
I've managed to avoid dealing with the issue of Garth Brooks over the years mainly because I refuse to deal with Country/Western music.  But now Garth has decided to venture into my territory, and it is time someone says what needs to be said.

Ol' Garth has apparently lost his mind and decided to release a Greatest Hits rock album of a fictional character named Chris Gaines, a PR stunt for an upcoming movie of the same fictional subject.

Only one problem -- who on Earth decided of all people that Garth Brooks would do a good job of portraying a fictional Australian rock star?

The album clearly shows that Garth has no knowledge of rock music, and quite frankly these "rock" songs sound an awful lot like his country fare.  The album is more "pop" than rock, and Garth has no idea what rock music is.  This album is a rock album in about the same extent that Garth Brooks is a baseball player.

The songs are sterile, cookie-cutter, and quite franklly way too positive to pass for rock music.  Garth can't get pass his country-music vocals, and the music has no edge or genuine feeling in it all.  Hey, I wasn't expecting something seminal and hardcore, but I was at least expecting something with some more prominent guitar.  Rock music *is* guitar, and lots of it.  But somebody forgot to tell Garth this.  Brooks apparently thinks that by merely taking his cowboy hat off and incorporating keyboards into his songs (which is way too much like Hanson for my tastes) that he can become his rock alter-ego.  Scarier yet, some schmuck in a suit must have bought into it too.

And don't get me started on the Australian connection.  How in the world is that supposed to come into play?!  If I were Angus Young of AC/DC I'd beat Brooks senseless for trying to impersonate an Australian rocker.  Compared to Brooks, even Rebecca St. James seems awfully edgy and hard.

It is time for Garth Brooks to give up this notion that he is the ambassador for everything in music and represents every genre.  This album is the very definition of "bad".  It is bound to not only alienate his loyal country-western following, but turn the stomachs of anyone who knows what *real* rock music is.

Maybe Garth should give baseball another try if he's going to throw us drivel like this. San Diego Padres spring training is just around the corner, Garth...

-- Rik A. Kyser


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